by Alfonso Colasuonno
TNA
Well, TNA brought three new arrivals to the Impact Zone this week and I think the show will all together be a lot stronger for their additions.
First - about Victoria - all I have to say is her theme music is amazing. It's the best I've ever heard. It sounds like some cross between L7 and My Bloody Valentine. Anyone know who does the music?
Raven joining with old pal Stevie Richards and Daffney has the makings for a great stable. I'm really optimistic about how TNA will handle the addition of Raven.
Shane Douglas using his old friend the brass knuckles on Daniels was an interesting way to close out the show. And by interesting, I mean I think they could do better. Still, I think a Daniels - Douglas feud would be pretty exciting.
Next week will bring a new addition - Jesse Neal. I really think Abdul Bashir and The British Invasion are going to do something to feud with him. Yes, I think it will be the worst gimmick around. My fingers are crossed that this is botched so horribly that it goes from bad to good.
I'm not feeling the idea of bringing in Cody Deaner is an active competitor. See when Don West said the crystal meth crack about him, I actually think it was aptly put.
Samoa Joe remains the height of absurdity by stating that he is going to kill Kurt Angle. Gah.
I like the idea of Sting leading the Main Event Mafia. It brings a bit of a twist to the same tired old heel faction. Let's see how this develops. I think Matt Morgan could be really something of a star and might be a good fit for the faction as an enforcer - sort of replacing Kurt Angle's bodyguards in that role.
RAW
I am completely bored of the Legacy. Even Ric Flair wasn't enough to salve the wound that is the Ortoncentric nature of RAW.
I have to admit - even though it was out of jealousy and self-promotion, the idea of the faces wearing Lakers jerseys and the heels wearing Nuggets jerseys in the main event and the confrontation between McMahon and the Nuggets owner impersonator was pretty entertaining.
SMACKDOWN
The more I see of John Morrison, like the way he handled himself against Umaga - the more I think this kid has the potential to be the next Shawn Michaels.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Recent Observations
By Alfonso Colasuonno
Is anyone as sick of Randy Orton as I am? OK. You systematically dismantled every member of the McMahon family and now you're setting your sights on dismantling every member of Evolution. You already put Triple H out of commission. Boring. Smackdown is an infinitely better show than Raw simply because Raw revolves around Orton (and Cena - don't get me started on him). I think he needs a new gimmick. This feud is getting old. Just a few months ago I was incredibly high on Orton...but now, I'm just frustrated watching his skits on RAW and prefer to watch The Miz or The Brian Kendrick or any of the other few good competitors on the program.
Speaking of Randy Orton's feud...how about bringing in the decomposing corpse of Ric Flair in to feud with Orton. Granted, Flair looks older than John McCain but I still mark out for the old boy. Still, the thought of Batista vs. Orton as the main draw on RAW leaves me with a sigh and a yawn.
On the last episode of Smackdown - Chris Jericho showed exactly why he is the best mic worker in WWE. At first I didn't like Jericho's angle of constant whiner. The angle could only really work in a truly skilled professional's hand (see how Jack Swagger is failing at it in his feud with Christian). While I miss the antics of the old Jericho...I think the new professional Jericho is equally entertaining.
Does anyone else think Batista is nothing but a ripoff of Goldberg?
The Miz is the reason to watch RAW. Him dressed up like a John Cena fanboy was hilarious. His rap ("The Steve Urkel of handsome") was funny. I actually want to see The Miz moved up to the main event status. I think he is an incredible mic worker. If not...I think he'd make an amazing tag team with The Brian Kendrick.
What's up with David Hart Smith saying he's already better than his father without ever wrestling a match in ECW? Hmm....he might be...but the kid is too brash without a record to back it up. Still, the new formed Hart Foundation is looking good.
Zack Ryder is the most entertaining wrestler on ECW. WOO WOO WOO!
I think I'm alone in my enthusiasm for the Soviet Cyborg - Vladimir Kozlov. I just wish he starts finding better competition than the no-names ECW is throwing at him. Who is going to win a match - the guy with the ring entrance or the guy you've never heard of without a ring entrance. Lame.
I really think the tag team belts should remain unified considering how little WWE cares about them.
Here's hoping Shawn Michaels and Triple H reform as DX and Kane and Undertaker reform as the Brothers of Destruction and give the tag team division a jolt. I just don't buy the Colons as legitimate tag team champions.
As Russell Jaffe said - the odds are 100 to 100 that the Navy guy that Rhino is training will feud with Sheik Abdul Bashir - I for one can hardly wait!!!
Stevie Richards needs a better angle than this Dr. Stevie gimmick.
FIN
Is anyone as sick of Randy Orton as I am? OK. You systematically dismantled every member of the McMahon family and now you're setting your sights on dismantling every member of Evolution. You already put Triple H out of commission. Boring. Smackdown is an infinitely better show than Raw simply because Raw revolves around Orton (and Cena - don't get me started on him). I think he needs a new gimmick. This feud is getting old. Just a few months ago I was incredibly high on Orton...but now, I'm just frustrated watching his skits on RAW and prefer to watch The Miz or The Brian Kendrick or any of the other few good competitors on the program.
Speaking of Randy Orton's feud...how about bringing in the decomposing corpse of Ric Flair in to feud with Orton. Granted, Flair looks older than John McCain but I still mark out for the old boy. Still, the thought of Batista vs. Orton as the main draw on RAW leaves me with a sigh and a yawn.
On the last episode of Smackdown - Chris Jericho showed exactly why he is the best mic worker in WWE. At first I didn't like Jericho's angle of constant whiner. The angle could only really work in a truly skilled professional's hand (see how Jack Swagger is failing at it in his feud with Christian). While I miss the antics of the old Jericho...I think the new professional Jericho is equally entertaining.
Does anyone else think Batista is nothing but a ripoff of Goldberg?
The Miz is the reason to watch RAW. Him dressed up like a John Cena fanboy was hilarious. His rap ("The Steve Urkel of handsome") was funny. I actually want to see The Miz moved up to the main event status. I think he is an incredible mic worker. If not...I think he'd make an amazing tag team with The Brian Kendrick.
What's up with David Hart Smith saying he's already better than his father without ever wrestling a match in ECW? Hmm....he might be...but the kid is too brash without a record to back it up. Still, the new formed Hart Foundation is looking good.
Zack Ryder is the most entertaining wrestler on ECW. WOO WOO WOO!
I think I'm alone in my enthusiasm for the Soviet Cyborg - Vladimir Kozlov. I just wish he starts finding better competition than the no-names ECW is throwing at him. Who is going to win a match - the guy with the ring entrance or the guy you've never heard of without a ring entrance. Lame.
I really think the tag team belts should remain unified considering how little WWE cares about them.
Here's hoping Shawn Michaels and Triple H reform as DX and Kane and Undertaker reform as the Brothers of Destruction and give the tag team division a jolt. I just don't buy the Colons as legitimate tag team champions.
As Russell Jaffe said - the odds are 100 to 100 that the Navy guy that Rhino is training will feud with Sheik Abdul Bashir - I for one can hardly wait!!!
Stevie Richards needs a better angle than this Dr. Stevie gimmick.
FIN
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Unsung, Underground, and Underappreciated: Must-see matches available on Youtube
by Russell Jaffe
As a lover of all things pro wrestling, I hold a soft spot in my heart for the bizarre, rare, and just plain insane. I collect WCW tapes from late 1999 and beyond, own every episode of XPW TV, and keep up with the lowliest of the low indie promotions, like Dirty South Pro Wrestling and Jonny Rodz’ World of Unpredictable Wrestling. I try to diversify. But what about people less-crazy than myself who want all the strangest must-see pro wrestling without all the time and money flushed into the abyss? I present to you: Unsung, Underground, and Underappreciated: Must-see matches available on Youtube.
Youtube is the voice of Generation Y: fast, to the point, odd, sadistic, voyeuristic, and representative of our multi-tasting, ADD generation. These matches are perfect fits within the deep cracks of pro-wrestling subculture. I present them for your enjoyment, whether you’ve seen them or not.
Finlay vs Grasshopper-World of Sport 1986
This bizarre match is must-watch for a number of reasons:
1.) World of Sport was totally fucking awesome and added an authentic edge to pro wrestling while retaining all the ridiculousness we all love.
2.) It’s Finlay in 1986. With a girl dressed like an Injun.
3.) I cannot figure out of this match is actually on sped up tape, but if not, these guys could give Bruce Lee a run for his money. Their way of moving is really fast and insane.
I recommend that anyone who likes World of Sport to seek out Mike Quackenbush vs. Johnny Saint from CHIKARA…that throwback match really brought back memories of simpler (and in this case, equally as odd) times.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRwa8AdVDQY
WCW 1989: Ding Dongs vs. Skyscrapers
This insanely brutal squash makes me laugh every time. It’s humiliation at its most humiliating as the pathetic, despised Ding Dongs are decimated and de-masked by the monsterous Skyscrapers. Yup, that’s Teddy Long with them. Let the neck snapping begin.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-pCo0CMIFA
Juvi's hilarious XPW promo: Philadelphia, 2001
People remember an awful lot about XPW, but you’d be hard pressed to find anything good. While many of the matches were garbage matches, how many times can you say that you’ve seen a garbage PROMO? Juvi brings it out in full force here, and envokes the wrath of the 2001 audience, chanting “WHAT?” Yes, Austin and the Rock were hot, and their hotness did not translate at all to Juvi.
Unfortunately, this video was taken down and uploaded again, but its missing some funny stuff, particularly when Chris Chetti comes out and gets bonked in the head by the lone piece of the set- a juicer that has been sitting in the corner.
LINK:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFqrppW9N0c
Vader vs Takeshi Morishima- NOAH 2003
Call it a torch being passed or forcefully taken. Vader, on his way out, takes on Takeshi Morishima, on his way up. Morishima would go on to win the ROH and GHC world titles, while Vader would go on to fall off the ring in WWE. This match is fast, stiff, and brutal: perfect for Youtube. Not quite the infamous Stan Hanson vs. Vader match, but does anything need to be?
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTRpqt0UiHI
Mighty Wilbur vs David Isley -AWA
This match is important for anyone who says mic skills don’t matter. What as Mighty Wilbur squashes a jobber, gets over in about 3 seconds, and then proceeds to destroy all his heat with a dragged out promo that will remind you of that one math teacher who made you want to just play calculator games the whole class. Apparently he dislikes Paul Jones.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bwYxQfdrSs
Toshiaki Kawada vs. Katsuyori Shibata-2004 NJPW
It’s hard for me to describe this vicious match besides saying that each man has nothing but reckless abandon for themselves and their opponents. Like Youtube itself, it presents a non-stop marathon of hard hitting violence and insanity. Watch for the most horrific knee-drop in the history of wrestling at the end. You know from the get go that this match isn’t ending until someone can’t go anymore. This is an absolute must-see match!
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN6F1USUOaE
Great Antonio vs Antonio Inoki: 70s
This match is more important for the story behind it…Great Antonio refused to sell for Antonio Inoki, which is basically akin to inking your own death sentence in your own blood. Also, it’s worth mentioning that this match that degenerates into a shoot has amazing camerawork and quality, and it was the 1970s! Nice, Japan.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lXAGZtMxU8
Nasty Boys at Maryland Science Center
Remember when you were a kid and you watched all those wacky segments that made wrestling so much larger than life? If yes, then you do not remember this poop-covered gem: the Nasty Boys visiting the Maryland Science Center. While Knobbs may be called a legend on reality TV shows, he’s not exactly the wittiest guy in the world, and he has about 4 times the brain power that Jerry Saggs does. Turn your brain off and enjoy the stupidity!
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vypggcGJ1E0
Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger vs Perfect Event- WCW Greed 2001
Relive the death of WCW as Luger and Bagwell allow themselves to be totally slaughtered by the Perfect Event. The myth behind the match is that Luger and Bagwell stated many times that they think this was a good idea for getting their opponents over, while Death of WCW thinks it was a snide way to challenge management, who demanded Perfect Event be put over. Regardless, it’s a rare gem from WCW’s end.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EnFK-XhLe0
Val CM Punk- heat 2005
Reportedly, this is the match that got CM Punk signed to a WWE developmental deal, and if you watch it you’ll see why. Val Venis puts on his work boots to take CM Punk (working heel) to an intense back-and-forth match that you’d never in a billion years expect to see on the former “Stevie Night Heat.”
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rDEfClDq-g
Little Egypt and Little Fiji vs. HOUSEWIVES -GLOW
Let me start by saying that I love the Housewives and I wish there were more matches that just allowed wrestlers to be totally over the top and bury their opponents. Don’t expect any quality women’s wrestling here. Check out the amazing rap that starts this weird garbage clusterfuck!
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld8RIR3QoaY
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton- Smackdown fall 2002
Who would have thought Randy Orton would go on to greatness? Anyone, after watching this match. Watch Orton destroy himself and sell as only Orton can but look like he has a chance in this classic “David vs. Goliath” match up. Imagine how awesome this match could be now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBb5F52cKg0
Jean-Paul Levesque vs. Alex Wright- WCW 94
Part 2 is easily accessible…and it must be here just so it can be said that Alex Wright beat Triple H clean (oops, spoiler alert). How did he do it? What is the secret to beating the Superman son-in-law McMahon? How did Wright beat the Game? Why hasn’t Wright main-evented Wrestlemania??? Find out (almost all) of those things.
LINK:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qra-2p4fcaM
Low KI (Kaval) vs. TJ Wilson (Tyson Kidd)
If HHH vs. Wright represents the past of wrestling, this match could represent the future. Indie standout and ROH alum Low Ki takes on TJ Wilson, soon to be Tyson Kidd, on FCW TV. This is a kick-ass match, and the result may very well surprise you! Could these guys be the future of Wrestlemania?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLLwcGBKvgI
As a lover of all things pro wrestling, I hold a soft spot in my heart for the bizarre, rare, and just plain insane. I collect WCW tapes from late 1999 and beyond, own every episode of XPW TV, and keep up with the lowliest of the low indie promotions, like Dirty South Pro Wrestling and Jonny Rodz’ World of Unpredictable Wrestling. I try to diversify. But what about people less-crazy than myself who want all the strangest must-see pro wrestling without all the time and money flushed into the abyss? I present to you: Unsung, Underground, and Underappreciated: Must-see matches available on Youtube.
Youtube is the voice of Generation Y: fast, to the point, odd, sadistic, voyeuristic, and representative of our multi-tasting, ADD generation. These matches are perfect fits within the deep cracks of pro-wrestling subculture. I present them for your enjoyment, whether you’ve seen them or not.
Finlay vs Grasshopper-World of Sport 1986
This bizarre match is must-watch for a number of reasons:
1.) World of Sport was totally fucking awesome and added an authentic edge to pro wrestling while retaining all the ridiculousness we all love.
2.) It’s Finlay in 1986. With a girl dressed like an Injun.
3.) I cannot figure out of this match is actually on sped up tape, but if not, these guys could give Bruce Lee a run for his money. Their way of moving is really fast and insane.
I recommend that anyone who likes World of Sport to seek out Mike Quackenbush vs. Johnny Saint from CHIKARA…that throwback match really brought back memories of simpler (and in this case, equally as odd) times.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRwa8AdVDQY
WCW 1989: Ding Dongs vs. Skyscrapers
This insanely brutal squash makes me laugh every time. It’s humiliation at its most humiliating as the pathetic, despised Ding Dongs are decimated and de-masked by the monsterous Skyscrapers. Yup, that’s Teddy Long with them. Let the neck snapping begin.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-pCo0CMIFA
Juvi's hilarious XPW promo: Philadelphia, 2001
People remember an awful lot about XPW, but you’d be hard pressed to find anything good. While many of the matches were garbage matches, how many times can you say that you’ve seen a garbage PROMO? Juvi brings it out in full force here, and envokes the wrath of the 2001 audience, chanting “WHAT?” Yes, Austin and the Rock were hot, and their hotness did not translate at all to Juvi.
Unfortunately, this video was taken down and uploaded again, but its missing some funny stuff, particularly when Chris Chetti comes out and gets bonked in the head by the lone piece of the set- a juicer that has been sitting in the corner.
LINK:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFqrppW9N0c
Vader vs Takeshi Morishima- NOAH 2003
Call it a torch being passed or forcefully taken. Vader, on his way out, takes on Takeshi Morishima, on his way up. Morishima would go on to win the ROH and GHC world titles, while Vader would go on to fall off the ring in WWE. This match is fast, stiff, and brutal: perfect for Youtube. Not quite the infamous Stan Hanson vs. Vader match, but does anything need to be?
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTRpqt0UiHI
Mighty Wilbur vs David Isley -AWA
This match is important for anyone who says mic skills don’t matter. What as Mighty Wilbur squashes a jobber, gets over in about 3 seconds, and then proceeds to destroy all his heat with a dragged out promo that will remind you of that one math teacher who made you want to just play calculator games the whole class. Apparently he dislikes Paul Jones.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bwYxQfdrSs
Toshiaki Kawada vs. Katsuyori Shibata-2004 NJPW
It’s hard for me to describe this vicious match besides saying that each man has nothing but reckless abandon for themselves and their opponents. Like Youtube itself, it presents a non-stop marathon of hard hitting violence and insanity. Watch for the most horrific knee-drop in the history of wrestling at the end. You know from the get go that this match isn’t ending until someone can’t go anymore. This is an absolute must-see match!
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN6F1USUOaE
Great Antonio vs Antonio Inoki: 70s
This match is more important for the story behind it…Great Antonio refused to sell for Antonio Inoki, which is basically akin to inking your own death sentence in your own blood. Also, it’s worth mentioning that this match that degenerates into a shoot has amazing camerawork and quality, and it was the 1970s! Nice, Japan.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lXAGZtMxU8
Nasty Boys at Maryland Science Center
Remember when you were a kid and you watched all those wacky segments that made wrestling so much larger than life? If yes, then you do not remember this poop-covered gem: the Nasty Boys visiting the Maryland Science Center. While Knobbs may be called a legend on reality TV shows, he’s not exactly the wittiest guy in the world, and he has about 4 times the brain power that Jerry Saggs does. Turn your brain off and enjoy the stupidity!
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vypggcGJ1E0
Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger vs Perfect Event- WCW Greed 2001
Relive the death of WCW as Luger and Bagwell allow themselves to be totally slaughtered by the Perfect Event. The myth behind the match is that Luger and Bagwell stated many times that they think this was a good idea for getting their opponents over, while Death of WCW thinks it was a snide way to challenge management, who demanded Perfect Event be put over. Regardless, it’s a rare gem from WCW’s end.
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EnFK-XhLe0
Val CM Punk- heat 2005
Reportedly, this is the match that got CM Punk signed to a WWE developmental deal, and if you watch it you’ll see why. Val Venis puts on his work boots to take CM Punk (working heel) to an intense back-and-forth match that you’d never in a billion years expect to see on the former “Stevie Night Heat.”
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rDEfClDq-g
Little Egypt and Little Fiji vs. HOUSEWIVES -GLOW
Let me start by saying that I love the Housewives and I wish there were more matches that just allowed wrestlers to be totally over the top and bury their opponents. Don’t expect any quality women’s wrestling here. Check out the amazing rap that starts this weird garbage clusterfuck!
LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld8RIR3QoaY
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton- Smackdown fall 2002
Who would have thought Randy Orton would go on to greatness? Anyone, after watching this match. Watch Orton destroy himself and sell as only Orton can but look like he has a chance in this classic “David vs. Goliath” match up. Imagine how awesome this match could be now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBb5F52cKg0
Jean-Paul Levesque vs. Alex Wright- WCW 94
Part 2 is easily accessible…and it must be here just so it can be said that Alex Wright beat Triple H clean (oops, spoiler alert). How did he do it? What is the secret to beating the Superman son-in-law McMahon? How did Wright beat the Game? Why hasn’t Wright main-evented Wrestlemania??? Find out (almost all) of those things.
LINK:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qra-2p4fcaM
Low KI (Kaval) vs. TJ Wilson (Tyson Kidd)
If HHH vs. Wright represents the past of wrestling, this match could represent the future. Indie standout and ROH alum Low Ki takes on TJ Wilson, soon to be Tyson Kidd, on FCW TV. This is a kick-ass match, and the result may very well surprise you! Could these guys be the future of Wrestlemania?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLLwcGBKvgI
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